OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING
Fifty-four percent of adults fear public speaking over dying. Yet this fear of speaking means many people won’t get ahead in their careers.
Your goal when speaking is to stand up confidently and to be positive, relaxed, and feeling wonderful. Yet how do you get to this state just before you deliver a talk?
That’s what you’ll learn in this section. You’ll learn to overcome your fear of public speaking.
All Fears Are Learned
The good news is that you came to this world with no fears at all. All fears you have as an adult were created during your childhood, through experience and negative reinforcement.
But just as these fears, including the fear of speaking in front of an audience, have been learned, they can also be unlearned.
Destructive criticism during childhood is the main cause of fears in adults. When parents destructively criticize a child for whatever reason, the child soon develops fears of failure and rejection. This fear of rejection leads to being hypersensitive to the opinions of others later in life.
But if you can unlearn this fear of criticism, then the sky is the limit.
Start With Your Message
Confident public speaking begins with having a message that you really want people to hear. This is extremely important.
As long as you have the desire to share a message that you feel strongly about, you have won half the battle with your fear of public speaking.
If you’re just in it for the money or for the praise and acclaim, you won’t get too far. You might be able to learn to calm your nerves, but you’ll never be able to connect with your audience. And it’s all about your audience.
The Audience Is On Your Side
Here’s a realization that might change your fear of public speaking.
Have you ever gone to a movie hoping it would be a terrible movie and a waste of your time? Of course not! When you go to a movie, you are rooting for the film. You are wishing and hoping that it will justify the time and expense you have invested. That it will thrill you and change how you think and feel.
It’s the same when you give a talk.
The audience is on your side. They are rooting for you. They are all hoping and wishing for you to succeed, just like if they were attending a prize ceremony for you. They are there to cheer you on. They strongly desire that your talk will be successful and enjoyable.
Here’s another way of thinking about it. When you stand up to speak, you start with an A. You start off with a top grade. Your job is simple. It’s to keep your A during the course of your talk.
Just as with any fear, repetitive desensitization will help you develop the confidence to keep your A. Practice your talks as much as you can. Practice your talks in front of your friends and family, in front of your colleagues, and in front of the mirror. There is nothing more helpful in developing confidence than repetition.
How to Build Confidence and Competence
Here are a few specific techniques you can use to overcome fear and anxiety when you speak:
Visualize
Improvements in your outer performance begin with an improvement in your mental picture. By creating a clear, uplifting, exciting mental image of yourself speaking effectively and persuasively, your subconscious mind gets programmed to give you the words, feelings, and gestures that are in line with your mental picture.
“See” yourself standing calm, confident, and smiling as you address your audience. See the audience smiling, laughing, and enjoying your talk, hanging on every word you say.
Program Your Mind
Your subconscious mind is more open to suggestions in the last few minutes before you fall asleep and in the first few minutes you’re awake than at any other time of the day.
One way to develop confidence in your public speaking is by visualizing yourself giving your talk effectively before you fall asleep. Visualize yourself giving a talk that enthralls your audience, one that motivates them to give you a standing ovation. This will be the last impression on your subconscious mind before you sleep, and it will affect you at a deep level. It will literally program your mind to be calm and confident when it comes to the time for you to deliver your talk.
Last-Minute Confidence Builders
Much of the mental preparation for public speaking can be done far in advance. But there are a few things speakers can do to calm their nerves immediately before speaking and thereby improve their performances.
Pump Yourself Up
Just before you are introduced, psych yourself up mentally. Repeat to you “This is a great talk! I can hardly wait! This is going to be a great speech!”
Say these words with conviction. Imagine you are trying to convince someone else to believe what you’re saying. Your subconscious mind responds best to emotional instruction, so really put your heart into your self-talk.
Think About Your Audience
Before you give your talk, put yourself in a position of power mentally over your audience. For example, imagine that the audience is composed of people who owe you money, and they all came to ask you for more time to pay back.
A mental trick like this will cause you to become far more relaxed when speaking to your audience.
Be Grateful
A final way to increase your confidence with an audience is to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Practice being grateful for the opportunity to speak. Say to yourself how grateful and how privileged you feel for the opportunity to speak to the people before you.
The more grateful you are for the opportunity to speak to your audience, the
more positive and enthusiastic you will be, and your fear of the platform will fade away.
The more you see the audience as friends who like you, and whom you like in return, the more relaxed you will be.
Next, you’ll learn how to deliver the perfect presentation that will inspire and awe your audience.
Summary
- All fears are learned from childhood.
- Just as fears are learned, you can unlearn them.
- A desire to share your message will help you overcome your anxiety.
- The audience is on your side during your talk. They want you to do well.
- Visualize giving an excellent talk in order to reduce your butterflies before your speech.
- Practice pumping yourself up, thinking about your audience, and being grateful just before you give your talk to reduce your fear.
